Drama, I guess, is the right word, but it trivializes the difficulty of the situation

Josh got offered a job back home. In crapass Iowa, working for his family. It’s great money, great experience, and cheap living (since he’ll probably be living in a family-owned apartment). It’s also 200 miles from OUR home, where I have a job (so far, haven’t heard back yet if the grant or sponsorship is going to go through for me to keep the job past July 31) and where WE have a lease (he will be paying his half of the rent if he takes this job even though he won’t be living here, since he’ll be leaving and saddling me with the bill).

We’ll see each other weekends again, doing the long distance thing AGAIN, but it won’t be the same as when we did it for two years two years ago when we first started dating. This will be TWICE as far away and we’ll both be twice as busy.

The other question remaining is for how long he’ll be stuck there doing this. I plan (we all know about the best-laid plans) to stay at my current job until May of 2010, at which point my lease here is up and I can move to the town of whatever grad school I get into and decide to go to. There is one of those schools in Iowa and it’s over four hours from where Josh would be working should he choose to take this job. It’s very likely I won’t go there because even though it’s in-state, it’s still more expensive than some of the out-of-state places and its financial aid is extremely competitive. So I could be not just hundreds of miles away, but STATES away.

Would he be able to get away from this job after just a year to move on with me or is he going to be stuck there while I move on and this be the end of us? Or should I put off my plans and move back home with him for year so he can get more experience and give our relationship a little more stability? Right now it’s all up to him.

The only thing stopping him from quitting his job here and moving on to this new opportunity (that pays almost three times what he makes here and will be a great resume builder) is ME. That’s right; I’m the bitch holding him back. If he doesn’t take this job just because of me, then he’ll resent me because he’ll be stuck here not getting this experience and money and/or resent himself for letting it go. If he takes it I’ll be left here in our half-empty apartment and it might spell the end for us, though I desperately hope not. Ugh