and I can’t stop eating

I’ve eaten half a pan of chocolate/penut butter rice crispy bars today.

and a potato

and some carrots

and a third of a can of pringles

and i don’t feel well

for so many reasons

Lonely

Home for weekend

I’m headed home for the weekend so there won’t be any posts anytime soon. That’s not to say that I’ve thrown out any gems lately either, but just that the schlock both my readers have grown to love lately will be on a brief hiatus.

(I need to work on cooking up some substantial content.)

Another Facebook Meme: More than you ever wanted to know about me and da love

What are your middle names?
Sophia, after my great-grandmother, who everyone who knew both of us says would have been my best friend had she lived long enough…and Dean, same as his father

How long have you been together?
Three and a half years. Engaged for just over two now

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
As friends who spoke almost daily, about 4 months.

Who asked whom out?
This didn’t really have to happen. We started talking on MSN one day, all day, and then that day stretched into three solid, 10-hour days of us talking on MSN. This was during the summer. I went back to college and took classes and such but we still made a point to IM-talk many times during the day and things just grew. Before I knew it, a deeper relationship, wherein we were somehow accountable and responsible to each other in some ways, had developed. So, one day it dawned on me that we had definitely become more than just friends and I sent him a text message right before flute choir asking what we “are.” We talked after rehearsal and discovered that somehow we had morphed into an item. We have been “together” ever since.

How old are each of you?
He is 24 and I am 23. He’s February of 85 and I’m September of 85, so we’re only 7 months apart.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Mine, because his sisters hate me and I hate them just as much, if not more.

Which situation is hardest on you as a couple?
His family. Without question.

Did you go to the same school?
Odd, long story. When his family moved back to Iowa, they bought an acreage only two miles from my parents’ acreage. His family went to the crappy farm school and mine went to the school in town. He graduated high school one year before me and then went to college. A year later I went to that same college. We did not meet. After three semesters, which would be after my first semester there, he dropped out of that college and went to a community college closer to home (though still over an hour from home, so dorms). After that move, while I was still at college, we met. So, in short, yes, briefly.

Are you from the same hometown?
No. I lived in the same house my whole life. My parents brought me home from the hospital to the same place they still live in. He was born in Boston, lived in New Hampshire for a while, then moved to Cali for a while, then in May of his 6th grade year they moved to Iowa (both his parents are from my hometown [ht being relative in the small-town area that is northern Iowa])

Who is smarter?
He is, without question. I have way more education and know a lot of things and did way better in school, but he can remember things like no one’s business. He can pick up on things with a bit less effort than I can.

Who is the most sensitive?
Tough call. He knows better when and how to shut up, but he doesn’t pick up on certain things. He’s totally oblivious to a lot of things that a more sensitive person would pick up on, but still. I’m just a bitch. I’m sensitive in that way where I can be easily offended or thrown off course or unnerved by something. I hate that and am working on it.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Either Coldstone (half price Wednesdays!) or Village Inn

Where is the farthest you have traveled together as a couple?
Boston

Who has the craziest exes?
Neither of us really has exes.

Who has the worst temper?
He does not have one that I am aware of. I appear to be composed of at least 98% temper/anger.

Who does the cooking?
He loves to cook, so usually him. I like to cook and create as well, but he likes it so much that it’s usually him at the stove.

Who is the neat freak?
I am. He is icky.

Who is more stubborn?
I am. I have made my decision and I stick with it; you will not change my mind no matter how right in reality you are. I. Am. Right. Dammit.

Who hogs the bed?
Even though he’s got 9 inches (in height! har! penis joke!) and probably 50 pounds on me, somehow, that would have to be me.

Who wakes up earlier?
He works at 5:30 am at a place about 25 minutes from our apartment. He stops on the way there to pick up a coworker. He’s generally out of bed and functioning by 445. I don’t do that nonsense until around 6.

Where was your first date?
Yet another story: We had been “together” for over two months before we went on our first real date. We decided to go to Olive Garden, but they had a 45 minute wait, so we went to TOYS R US. TOYS R US, HELL YEAH! I had never been there before! It was awesome and lame because the TRU is small and crappy. But it’s still full of awesome toys and shiny things. After dinner we went to Fun with Dick and Jane. When that came out on DVD I bought it and we watched it so many times I think he gave it away.

Who is more jealous?
Not sure.

How long did it take you to get serious?
I assume the “you” here is supposed to be collective. He was serious after about a week. Woulda married me then. I was a little slower. Even though we had both recently gotten our hearts broken in ugly rejections, I was more hesitant to launch into something, so it took me about 6 weeks.

Who eats more?
Lately it’s been equal. Which is bad because I have gained a lot of weight. I’m running out of clothes that fit and just refuse to buy newer, LARGER clothes. My ego won’t permit it.

Who does the laundry?
We both do.

Who’s better with the computer?
That’s his job. He’s been a tech for over a decade now.

Who drives when you are out together?
He usually does because I like being chauffered around and he likes to drive his new car.

And there it is, more than you ever wanted to know about me and the love, though it did leave out sex, which I find odd now that I think about it.

Happy Birthday!

Yesterday was da love’s 24th birthday, which we had already celebrated on Saturday for convenience’s sake. So Monday night was filled with egg/ham/cheese sandwiches, leftover chocolate birthday cake and badass comic book movies. Happy birthday to da love! Batman and Iron Man YEAH!

I’m also finally starting to get into the swing of working full time and it’s not quite as bad as it was my first full week. I’m getting used to spending longer hours at work, getting up earlier and going to bed earlier. It could be a lot worse. I could have not gotten this ideal job and could instead be working somewhere awful, such as a call center or Wal Mart. Ew. Let’s hope the other part of the grant comes through and I can stay on longer. I’ve been working my ass off to prove my relevance around here and I’m desperately hoping they don’t regret working so hard to keep me.

Facebook Meme on Blog

I did this on facebook, and I’m sure I’ll be judged a loser jackass for doing two separate ones, but here are another 25 inane things about me:

1. I have a food/eating problem, probably like many other people. It’s not a restriction issue like anorexia or bullemia, but the exact opposite: compulsive eating, also known as bingeing. I remember the first time I realized there was a problem. I came home from school on the bus one day in seventh grade and was a little hungry, so I ventured over to the pantry. There I found a can of pringles. I opened it up and had a couple to stave off hunger until dinner time (dinner was usually 830 or 9 pm in my house), but it doesn’t take much to fill me up. Instead of eating just enough to keep me satisfied, I ate the whole can. Really fast. Probably in under 3 minutes. I wanted to stop. I really, really wanted to stop eating the pringles. I was getting uncomfortable: my belly was huring, my throat was feeling sore because my jaw was tiring out and not chewing as well as it would be if I weren’t uncontrolably force-feeding myself. I could not stop myself. Could. Not. I kept going and felt like shit for a couple days after that. The worst part is that it hasn’t stopped since then and that day has haunted me for a decade. And it still only takes an apple and a saltine to fill me up to the point where I’m uncomfortable. My stomach just doesn’t hold much at a time and I feel sick if I eat much more than that, but I do it all the time, basically every day.
2. I don’t have any close friends. If I really wanted to go out for a drink and just have someone to talk to, there isn’t anyone. I don’t even really have friends right now. This is sad and even more than that, embarrassing.
3. I’m madly in love with my car, a 2000 Beetle, but am terrified of having to sell it because I won’t be able to make its outrageous payments and student loan payments and rent and phone bill and insurance and groceries. I cried for a week after buying this car worrying that it had been a huge mistake. AS much as I love him, I’m still sure it was.
4. Losing that car would be devastating. The one I have now is actually a replacement of a 2001 beetle I bought three years ago that died this previous May. I cried for two solid days when I realized I had to let go of that car.
5. Not only would it be emotionally wracking (though not nearly as bad as last time) if I were to lose this car, but the ego blow would be enormous. Just absolutely embarrassing for me. But it becomes more real to me every day that I’m probably going to have to suck it up and do it.
6. Doing it though would be bad because I am upside down on the loan. This means that I cannot sell it for enough to pay off the loan. I could sell it and then still owe 2000 on the loan and still have to buy another car to get around in. The payments would be significantly smaller if I can find a cheap enough car, but still ridiculous. I blame this situation in large part on poor counseling and shameless profiteering of the dealership where I bought the car. I can’t fault them too much though because they did give me a damn good deal on a trade in. And that sell it so I’d only owe another 2k on it? That sale would have to be private – no dealership would give me that much for it.
7. I desperately want to get out of debt. I hate my debt and will probably have to take out more because I want to go to graduate school, either for library science or linguistics.
8. I’ll probably end up going for library science because most of those programs are not research-based and my adviser would not write me a good recc at all for a research program, but she would for a professionally-based on like library science.
9. I’d love to be a librarian. Everyday I think about it every day and everyday it just sounds better and better. I’ve found a couple programs I’d love to be in: Kent State and Missouri. Great programs that offer what I’m looking for, that only take three semesters, and that would probably accept me.
10. A lot of days I also think I’d love to push through to a PhD in linguistics. Historical linguistics to be exact. But, like I said, I couldn’t get the recc’s right now to get into such a program and with an undergrad GPA of 3.3 I don’t think my chances are good enough to try. I find linguistics fascinating, in fact, those were my favorite classes in all of college and I aced all of them but one. I got a B+ in that class. The problem is that I did a research project with my advisor last year and it was awful. I picked a bad topic with poor resourced that it turns out I don’t really care about. I also never landed on a thesis. That paper were pure crap.
11. I majored in religion because it’s fascinating and it was the smallest BA program my college offered. Not necessarily in that order. That’s why I ended up doing a research paper in that area and why it was no good. My real academic love is linguistics but my college (the cheapest university in my state at which I had a scholarship) does not offer it. The courses I took in it were in the TESOL program.
12. Religion is fascinating because I’ve seen it as nothing but nonsense since third grade. Generally, hurtful nonsense. I’ve been a skeptic since then, atheist since high school. If I land a long-term appointment at the university I’ll actually start going to the school’s freethinkers and inquirers club, of which I have been a member since its inception but have never attended a thing.
13. My favorite number is 63. Favorite color is dark purple.
14. I got my ears pierced when I was 22. My brother and sister were there and my brother was laughing so hard he almost wet himself. I’ve been horribly afraid of needles my whole life, thus is gutsplitting. My sister paid for this because she just really wanted to be there when it was done; she thought it would be great entertainment. She was right, but wrong: my brother’s reaction to the event was much better than my own.
15. I own exactly two pair of earrings: the pair they were pierced with (at Claire’s lol) and a pink pair. Both are from the same sister, the pink ones this Christmas.
16. I have tried to change my earrings twice and both times I have only gotten as far as one ear because when I try to put the new earring through, IT DOESN’T GO THROUGH. It goes in the front side but not straight through to the back side. It goes down inside my dear and that makes me sick. I usually have to lay down to calm myself down before I give up on the new one and try to get the old one back in. Then I take a nap because I’ve earned it.
17. I dream of carving a teacup out of a block of wood. I have no idea why.
18. I love Christmas. I leave my tree up as long as I can and only put it away when we move furniture or someting gross falls in or behind it. It’s mostly decorated with small cutesy animals I’ve collected over the years, including three ducks, two Intel spacemen, and a ceramic fruit cake I got from a volunteer at work.
19. We have the greatest cookie jar ever. We went to Goodwill looking for a cookie jar that was cool in general and found this greatness: a snowman who stores the cookies in his belly. How does one retrieve the cookies? Simply remove the snowman’s head!
20. Like so many other people, I love a clean home, and even often enjoy cleaning it, but not often enough. Thus I don’t have the clean home I would so much love. Oh well.
21. I found out today that there are circumstances under which one would be required to pay their taxes post mortem. That’s right. Since I worked all last year, I have acquired taxable income. It will all be refunded from the federal government but I will still somehow end up owing the state of Iowa. And the state? They want their money dammit and the federal government wants to keep their books staright. So if I drop dead tonight, my family would still have to file my taxes. Awesome.
22. I watch the House marathon every Sunday night while da love is out D&Dn with his homies (HAR! like we’d have homies)
23. There are nearly 200 blogs in my google reader. Many of them update once a month.
24. I’m in love with Dooce.com. I blew a whole week and a half right before finals reading EVERYTHING she had written on that site. It was great.
25. I’m in love with Dave Barry.

I just realized that the points have gotten progressively shorter. It’s not because I’ve got less to say about each one, but because I’m lazy.

Much love to Dave Barry

…they were capable of understanding a concept that we seem to have lost, which is that people who disagree with you politically are not necessarily evil or stupid. My parents and their friends took it for granted that most people were fundamentally decent and wanted the best for the country. So they argued by sincerely (if loudly) trying to persuade each other. They did not argue by calling each other names, which is pointless and childish, and which constitutes I would estimate 97 percent of what passes for political debate today.

Crappy Weeky Gonny for Goody

I’m pleased to announce that we’re finally at the end of a shittastic week. FINALLY. All the crap is over and gone behind us until Monday when we go back to work only to start it all over again. It could be ok tho. It really could. Maybe.

But for now, I’ve got apple/cherry juice ( I actually thought it was cranberry/cherry but grabbed the wrong bottle) + vodka and I’ watching cashcab rockin up the big fake bucks.

Cooking!

So we haven’t been grocery shopping in a long time and have almost nothing in the food storage areas. As such, I decided to hunt down a recipe for cookies that would not require items we definitely won’t have, aka, eggs. This recipe is to serve even when we do have groceries around, since we never really buy eggs (we just don’t eat enough of them to justify the purchase).

Today, I finally decided to make cookies on that recipe. By ‘using that recipe’ I mean, of course, that I only followed the list of ingredients with no regard for quantities since we don’t have much of anything other than flower sitting aroud the house.

I made half of the batch using jst the ingredients specified and for the other half added cocoa powder to make chocolate cookies. oven just went off, so I’m off to see the cookies!